for a moment i thought i was lost in this odyssey alone
forced to have to navigate its waters
to steer the wheel
and somehow extend myself to manage the rest
of what stops us from sitting dead in the waters…
when you called me that night
to tell me that you had kissed someone
listening to every syllable i slipped back into
the armor i had shed for myself,
thus for you,
and the spite that once used to coat my lips,
salivating enough hurt to share,
causes my heart to change the rythm of its beat
your lies seemed to have neatly carved out the love we shared
been replanted else where; its roots fading into nothing
because a confession to a kiss would become so much more
it would stain every image, every promise, every possible truth after
the callousness of your honesty leaves me hollow some days
with out wanting to i slip in and out of fuck it mode
see i should be
too woke to want to cause destruction
too blessed, to up, to busy makin it rain on myself
but you niggas who claim to be woke
stay wanna try a homie,
and that makes me want to throw sense out the fuckin window
and go off,
all the way off;
make it hot and poppin so maybe you’ll believe me
when i say it’s all love till its not papi…
but i must protest against this self mutiny
i see coming
cuz we just got no time to get lost in old cycles
i wanna ride this wave to forgiveness
so I can feel a little more kinder
a little more rested
And a lot more lifted…
Jari G. Planning 