i haven’t told her,
and the truth is i probably won’t.
the truth tends to take on its own translation
once it lands in her ears.
so i settle for watching the inevitable,
completly still when it all begins to implode.
she tends to takes them on;
tells me not,
take the world off your shoulders,
but with her its like
the one thing she always want to do.
they ask me where i get it from;
so i settle on silence –
its none of your business, nah i dont want you to know me.
so i settle for resting my eyes on her.
she doesn’t see the wears and tears
that are beginning to form around
the corners of her eye lids.
but there they are there. they exisit.
i am reminded again
that there isnt much time left.
that one day this too will end.
so i tell her stop.
lets share that last little drop of sunshine
that’s been fighting to come;
take the world off your shoulders for a minute.
ease some peace back into your heart
before the last of blistering blues
threaten to snuff it all out.
she pauses for a minute.
she’s still learning to find the softness
underneath the bite of my tone.
she huffs at me. i don’t want her on eggshells. again.
i shrug my shoulders
out of the tension,
break out a sigh,
cool the eyes
and im present again.
i unlench my jaw and smile,
because again im reminded that this too will end.
there isn’t much time left.
so i help her place the world on a shelf for a moment,
i watch meak become tall,
crying lungs cry even harder in thanks for the ease of breath,
i can feel her heart pounding again;
less intensly this time,
less like it’s gonna drop any minute now,
because quite frankly thats a tough pill to swallow
and the truth is i don’t ever want to.