I didn’t understand it.
Where had she gone?
This little girl
Who looked so much like me
Is smiling.
reaching out her hand
Waiting. For me.
I want to smack her hand away,
I want to cover her eyes,
Make her look away from
Who we be.
I don’t want her to know
How we got here.
Without my consent
She grabs a hold of my arm
Dragging me down to her level.
‘I want to see you’ she says.
So I tell her ‘truth. You make me want to run’.
I move her hand away,
So she grabs a fistful of skirt
And her warning is clear.
She will tug, allow herself to be dragged
If she needs to.
Still smiling she tells me
‘This is too important.’
‘I need you to smile now.’
‘I need you to remember joy.’
So again it cracks. Effortlessly this time.
That fine mask,
so well polished,
painted to perfection
is peeled away by small fingers
Hoping to keep you around this time.
Piece by piece,
She does away with the falsehood
Apathy created,
Leaving you bare.
Naked as the day we were born.
Smiling.
This little girl
Living in the joy of my smile.
She tells me ‘welcome home.’
I am the before and I am the after.
Jari G. Planning 