Day 4: Accept that there are no Winners/Losers.

Win. Lose. Ties. I am going to let you in on a secret. When it comes to effective communication there is no such things as “I win.”

The reality is that We need to learn to take accountability for our actions, feelings & thoughts. I’ve had to learn to take accountability, even when unintentional, for the impact that I’ve had on others. Is it easy? No. Did it feel scary at times? Yes, because I have no control of how someone will respond in the moments I’m being honest with myself. Do I sometimes think about just going off & laying out all the tea in multi color? Of course I am human. So what’s stopping me? I stop me & the people I love and care about; their memory stops me.

Yes. It is you. The people that I love & hold dear, even if these days its only in memory.

I know what it feels like to share intimate pieces of yourself, for your healing, with someone you call a friend & they blast it to the world in damaging ways when things don’t go their selfish way.

I get angry & the capacity to say hurtful things is there. In the moment that I was hurt I could’ve said a lot of things. Every time someone blamed me for their poor choices I could’ve blasted them with receipts showing them the fool. Instead I sought out help. I want to be that person that even if we part ways, everything said in confidence goes away with me as well. I don’t want a moment of anger to create doubt in myself or with the people I care about.

I can’t control what other people choose to do, but I can control my choices. I don’t want to “win” an argument. I want to get to the root & I want to move through it. What I won’t do is dwell. If you’re stuck on something that, honestly, has nothing to do with you to begin with, then all those feels are really on you to lay to rest, because all events do is show us if our actions will line up with who we project ourselves to be in the world.

Looking back now, I realized I didn’t lose anything. I simply gained a new sense of freedom.

#30DaysUP: Let’s Meditate

Peace Beautiful Readers, Influencers, Mediators Creatives & Change Makers,

It’s that time of the year again! That’s right, you called it! Rusia, through Universal Partnership, is back with our meditation challenge #30DaysUp Register Now!

Meditation, when I am honest & consistent with my practice, it has been one of the best ways for me to gain clarity & to be objective where it’s needed. Being able to practice with community brings another level of support that helps me to not only reconnect, but to stay engaged with myself & the goals that I have set out for myself.

“New practices shouldn’t feel hard. You have to chose it.” – Rusia Mohiuddin

The reality is that change cannot take place if we do not allow ourselves to be open to it. We have to really take a hold of ourselves & be accountable to our choices & the potential impact we may have on others.

I hope that you can join us March 11th as we kick off our #30DaysUP challenge & look forward to see you share some of your reflections & insights!

Day 3: Honest Choices

There will always come a time in your life where you will be in a position to make some difficult decisions. I am telling you now, procrastinating on making them doesn’t make them disappear. In my last post, I shared some practices that help me, when I find myself right smack in the middle of having to make some of those hard choices. When it comes to the people closest to us the stakes can feel higher compared to those we are not intimately close with.

When the stakes feel like they have been raised, it may be tempting to want to avoid it all together.

Whether we may want to or not, we all have some decisions to make. The important ones, the ones that we allow to impact us, its best to take your time with. Be honest with yourself as much possible, because the reality is that we have no control over what comes next after the fact. The only thing you have control over is your own feelings. Be intentional, regardless of the situation & who it is with. This is not about like or dislike. This is about holding & taking accountability.

From the setting, to the main points you wish to convey, down to managing your own emotions, and feeling confident in what you understand needs to happen.

Setting: Do you prefer difficult conversations to happen during the day, afternoon, or evening? Do you prefer it in a quiet space vs a loud space? Do you want additional support? If you do, who is present? etc.

Convey Main Points & Purpose: Write bullet points if you need to. We are human and so feelings, irrelevant to the moment, may come up. Be prepared to stay focused. Be prepared to site clear examples of what was & may no longer be working.

Managing Emotions: Someone will always test your leadership. They will hold nothing back trying to come for your character. They will deflect. They will bait & gaslight you, especially when you come with the truth. Hold firm to your practices, hold firm to who you have become & stay confident in what you bring to the table. Let others insecurities roll off you in that moment & remain steadfast. Escalation isn’t the objective. Don’t allow it to become the point of focus.

Staying Confident: The reality is that more than likely a persons behavior/actions have given you enough information to make the decisions necessary. There is no point internalizing the poor behaviors or choices of another person.

Hold firm to your practices, hold firm to who you have become & stay confident in what you bring to the table. Let other people’s insecurities roll off you in that moment & remain steadfast.