Day 28: Growing Up Pentecostal.

“girl, what you doing?
yeah, you! I see you! look at ya! all grown now and what not.”

“giirl, what you doing?
what you been up to? whats new? how ya momma been? she still go to church?”

“giiiirrl, hey! yeah you!
what you doing? it’s so nice to see you? how is the family? how are your brothers? you still talk to your farther?”

“aaayyy, mami! como estas? como esta tu madre? y tu papa? y tu hermanos? ay, bien! tiene un novio? mira, apurate!”

“hola, mamita linda. god bless you. you been to church lately? you know he loves you. everything better at home? ay, imma keep praying for you and your family? it was good seeing you, good bless and take care.”

Growing Up Pentecostal | Her

Day 27th: When Ignorance Comes Knocking.

she said, “i have been quiet about you two, but now i have had enough.”

i said, ” what? I don’t know what you’ve been told, but clearly someone has misscommunicated something, because lets be clear…what??”

inner me said, “bitch, I am not you! I don’t suck on guy’s dicks when their trying to get back with their partners to then sit there and say Oh Im just his friend.” 

inner inner me said, “first off, who the fuck are you? this trick has lost her damn mind. God come get her, because she really don’t even understand what she did to herself.”

the womyn that found growth laughed until she cried. Why? Because after breathing in the annoyance and breathing out the stupidity we realized that only someone so insecure, where there are clearly issues unrelated to me going on, hell bent on PROJECTING THEIR LIVED BEHAVIOR to then justify how they act or what they say is honestly really sad. so we said, “fuck being mad. if this hoe wants to think that im going to move in the way she does then shes out of her freakin mind, because im too good, too blessed, to up on this ride to sink too low where my presence doesn’t belong.  

the womyn that find growth reminds us that as you level up there will be those that will wish they came up along with you. she reminds us that there will be those trying to put on you how they have lived in the world. she reminds us that 1) don’t let anyone put their own inner crap on you, 2) not everyone needs to be or can be around for the come up, and 3) you will meet a lot of people who are unhappy with themselves, who can’t stand your brilliant shine, but its cool; keep shining beautiful, because we don’t need to give ourselves titles when the way we choose to move and live builds a kingdom for us instead. 

wild thing.

wild thing
Photo Credit IG@ayana.koduah

she’s a homey kind of poet,

where time slows down,

mornings become infinite,

and most times,

we bless our tongue

with a little black and strong,

cafe of course.

wild thing | to be continued…

Photo Credit IG@ayana.koduah

untitled.

back straight, eye lashes fluttering;

its called prim and proper

they tell me i gotta look nice,

meek, just the right kinda, non thinking

forget a talk back, slave – oops, excuse me – woymn

they’d prefer me to be.

…they try to break me.

over and over and over; tell me what’s the point of having a

sense of self;

where im going don’t require self respect.

i wanna be more than

bought and sold.

i wanna be more than

the latest trend in demand

it’s hard being an original

when you’re the latest hot topic

i know you can’t get enough of this glory

but you’ve mistaken me for jesus

you won’t find salvation

unpacking in my arms.

this crown aint up for grabs

you wont find healing

in my suffering.

yahweh! i want to be more

than pick me ups for put me downs,

globe trottin through the hood

for their latest fix.

i wanna be down with sayin

“yeah girl, that shit do make you look fat. dont buy it,

because honestly you asked.”

“why do you want me to lie now?”

the truth aint always pretty.

keep me out of the competition in your head

i aint sign up for one. lets keep it smooth.

i wanna be more than the expectation

that all woymn do is fight over dick.

she is the creator of valleys,

78% of your composition

as you crawl out of wombs,

take stake in her promises,

plant faith in your actions,

speak and be light

that feeds with that natural vitamin d

blessed from the sky and know

she is the ultimate provider.

she is ocean.

she is earth.

she dies to revive wanting to be more.

so i became she.

yin without yang

until i found my half

in me.