Jari G.

hear no, speak no, see no

I woke up deaf to the world.

Mouths continue to move

But I can’t find anything worth listening to.

It wasn’t until I watched

Two lovers

Dance across the skies

Without ever having to speak

That it hit me.

I had fallen apart.

I walked closer to the edge

Hoping that if I could get high enough,

If I could get close enough,

If I could trust enough,

That mother would reach back

Granting me wings to fly.

Granting me new life.

I woke up mute to the world.

So many thoughts but everyone’s

Closed off their mind,

Too afraid of truth

So they look to appease,

Stitching the road to my heart shut

I have plenty to say,

But not at the cost of myself.

I listened to love beat out for father

Hoping that if I told him every hic up,

If I shared every tear drop,

If I held the misguided parts of myself

Just as close as the awakening,

That father would fortify my tongue,

With the strength to slice through

The lies that live inside them,

Giving me the strength to read with love

Instead of spite.

I woke up blind to the world.

Couldn’t stop the forcing of bodies,

Couldn’t see past the pretense of smiles,

Or empty promises of safety.

Here we are again.

Foolishly bleeding out,

Unapologetically willing to hope

At the cost of everything,

Because you promised to sustain me.

So I reach with out dislocated limbs,

As my existence cracks under the pressure,

For mother to wrap her roots around me,

Ingrain themselves in my veins

As fathers waters work to cleanse me

From the choices threatening

To take me from greatness.

Like a lamb that accepts its fate faithfully,

I’m not afraid of the pain I feel.

Like the lion whose presence

Roars just as powerfully as it’s warning,

I will get up and die a thousand times more

If it means to hear without judgement.

I will get up and die a thousand times more

If it means to speak with out being jaded.

I will get up to die a thousand times more

If it means to see without having to cover up the reality in which we are living.

In which we’ve been living.

Jari G.

Pieces of an Odyssey 

for a moment i thought i was lost in this  odyssey alone

forced to have to navigate its waters

to steer the wheel

and somehow extend myself to manage the rest

of what stops us from sitting dead in the waters…

 

when you called me that night

to tell me that you had kissed someone

listening to every syllable i slipped back into

the armor i had shed for myself, 

thus for you, 

and the spite that once used to coat my lips,

salivating enough hurt to share,

causes my heart to change the rythm of its beat

your lies seemed to have neatly carved out the love we shared

been replanted else where;  its roots fading into nothing

because a confession to a kiss would become so much more

it would stain every image, every promise, every possible truth after

the callousness of your honesty leaves me hollow some days

with out wanting to i slip in and out of fuck it mode

see i should be

too woke to want to cause destruction

too blessed, to up, to busy makin it rain on myself

but you niggas who claim to be woke

stay wanna try a homie,

and that makes me want to throw sense out the fuckin window

and go off,

all the way off;

make it hot and poppin so maybe you’ll believe me

when i say it’s all love till its not papi…

but i must protest against this self mutiny 

i see coming 

cuz we just got no time to get lost in old cycles 

i wanna ride this wave to forgiveness

so I can feel a little more kinder 

a little more rested 

And a lot more lifted…