#blacklove – Jari G. Planning

June 12, 2018 Jari G.

two wholes.

I’m tired dying

Moving slow

Feeling low

Actin like I got no place to go.

But it’s hard out here

Where loves got

Billions of different definitions

And potential lovers

are being gunned down

Every Otha minute

Just for living while black.

In the crypt before their time

Trynna forced me to let go of what I know

In my gut as truth

For options that honestly

Ain’t too appetizing. So I starve.

I’m tired of dyin.

These days I got it togetha

Yet they hella lifted,

They waiting, yeah they hoping

A homie fails

Goes back to the unworthy

Shit is reckless.

Energy got me trynna

Skip to new tune

And I ain’t trynna have all that.

Yeah I’m skipping steps

To this process;

It’s gotten easier

As I’ve come to know myself.

See I’ve been through worse

So I have an idea of what’s better.

But don’t get it confused

It don’t mean imma settle,

If anything lovin me is harder,

That’s what happens when you have standards,

When self love can only recognize self love

In another

Cuz building you up ain’t what I’m here for.

You gotta do that yourself,

Cuz only two wholes

Can stand true together.

May 30, 2018May 29, 2018 Jari G.

i wanna be in love
not in lust.
show you that i am about we
just as much as i am about me.
i wanna rewrite the scriptures
so we can find our refelction
painted across ancient temples;
we are the heavens
let them praise our name.

i wanna be in awe
not in envy.
show you that i am the catalyst
to your creativity,
i wanna make you laugh
songs into exsistence.
i wanna make you cry in joy
lets recreate the universe;
i want to see you on top.

i wanna be in healing with you
not just theory.
lead fearlessly in vulnerability
only to be reminded that you are the kinder one.
when it counts. it matters.
i wanna be everything they said i couldnt be
and find it effortlessly to be with you.
when it counts. it matters.

I wanna be forgiving with sight in mind,
peel back the layers you hide underneath,
because its your imperfections that hold more truth.
i want it to be just the right amount of difficult,
just the right amount of time apart,
because enough time lapsed leaves too much room,
and just too much time for stubborness to take root;
it keeps us off balance.
so it reminds us the point is to work at it.
see when it counts, it matters.

see i want you to understand that its not just about
how you put things back together,
but also how you let them fall apart.
and that sometimes, if not most times,
its how the breaking down of what came to be
is what becomes the deciding factor
of how you choose to rise up
or how you choose to let go.