Jari G.

mother. madre. maan.

mother you’ve hurt me,
and you don’t even understand how deeply
the seeds been planted or how long its been nurtured
into this state of hopelessness.
mother i said you have hurt me,
but you’re so lost
in your own demise
you can’t see straight,
let alone comprehend what i could be feeling
when you’ve numbed yourself
out of existence for as long as you can remember.
damn it mother you hurt me,
beyond what is capable of healing,
at least that is what it can feel like sometimes
can you understand what im saying?
well…do you?
when i tell you
mother you have hurt me,
crippled me,
taught me how to find comfort
in the discomforts of misogyny,
do you understand the levels to the betrayal i feel?
mother you’ve hurt me
and i still love you,
and as much as i’ve healed on my own;
there are pieces of me that can only heal
hand in hand with you.
so thank you for hurting me
and thank you for choosing
to take this journey with me.

Jari G.

Day 15: For Them.

I am Grateful to the friends who don’t take offense, because we can call each other out with love and compassion when we aren’t feeling our best and show up in those ways.

I’m grateful to the ease in which we can say no, because we appreciate the love and kindness that rests in being able to say it.

I’m grateful for being able to reset when I need to, because this is a lifelong commitment to practice the values I wish to Embody most.

I’m grateful for the encouraged individuality, sharing of similarities, and creative innovation + bravery to transform into the people whom we want to be.

I’m grateful for the all the work already in process. We are in it. In this moment, I am greater than who I was and with every layer of me that comes undone letting go of the tension that lives in my bones; I’m able to move with the grace like the water that makes up my composition.

I am my own tempest, and it’s scary sometimes, but courage is my friend and faith is what brought me to fruition.

Jari G.

Take Note. 

Cultivate all the love you ever felt.

Now cultivate all the love you feel.

Then cultivate the love that comes after loss.

Now realize just how endless your capacity for love really is. 

Take Note • Addicted 

Jari G.

To Overcome 

I can laugh in the light of your joy.

I can breathe when fingers entwine 

And electrifying energy; unspoken 

Fuels the want to meld our universes 

Together. 

So it wounds me,

when your humanity takes a back seat

And all I’m left with 

is the bitter taste of your 

Wounds in my mouth;

Threatening to pull you away. 

I hope in your ability to know 

I see them,

Trusting in you to brave. 

– to overcome | withdrawal 

Jari G.

Meditate

They told me meditate.

Don’t rush things outside of your control
Stop this self induced suffering…
Where were you with your words
when I needed them;
the past is irrelevant
in your present
let it go.
She told me wait
four letter words
unknown to me how much I
subconsciously hated it…
Where was this breath
I didn’t understand existed;
Stuck in my throat
You’ve been holding on to it.

They told me meditate
free your mind from the chains
of terrors that no longer exists
time to leave the rabbit hole
it serves no purpose here.

They told me breathe;
inhale the poison circling around you
cleanse it in lavender
breathe out and release
The damage to the body has been done
imprinted into skin’s memory;
move slow
take space
know peace
walk in the sun
no more hiding from self.

Meditate
become aware of self
take back the control of you
and breathe.