Jari G.

mother. madre. maan.

mother you’ve hurt me,
and you don’t even understand how deeply
the seeds been planted or how long its been nurtured
into this state of hopelessness.
mother i said you have hurt me,
but you’re so lost
in your own demise
you can’t see straight,
let alone comprehend what i could be feeling
when you’ve numbed yourself
out of existence for as long as you can remember.
damn it mother you hurt me,
beyond what is capable of healing,
at least that is what it can feel like sometimes
can you understand what im saying?
well…do you?
when i tell you
mother you have hurt me,
crippled me,
taught me how to find comfort
in the discomforts of misogyny,
do you understand the levels to the betrayal i feel?
mother you’ve hurt me
and i still love you,
and as much as i’ve healed on my own;
there are pieces of me that can only heal
hand in hand with you.
so thank you for hurting me
and thank you for choosing
to take this journey with me.

Jari G.

Day 15: For Them.

I am Grateful to the friends who don’t take offense, because we can call each other out with love and compassion when we aren’t feeling our best and show up in those ways.

I’m grateful to the ease in which we can say no, because we appreciate the love and kindness that rests in being able to say it.

I’m grateful for being able to reset when I need to, because this is a lifelong commitment to practice the values I wish to Embody most.

I’m grateful for the encouraged individuality, sharing of similarities, and creative innovation + bravery to transform into the people whom we want to be.

I’m grateful for the all the work already in process. We are in it. In this moment, I am greater than who I was and with every layer of me that comes undone letting go of the tension that lives in my bones; I’m able to move with the grace like the water that makes up my composition.

I am my own tempest, and it’s scary sometimes, but courage is my friend and faith is what brought me to fruition.

Jari G.

To Overcome 

I can laugh in the light of your joy.

I can breathe when fingers entwine 

And electrifying energy; unspoken 

Fuels the want to meld our universes 

Together. 

So it wounds me,

when your humanity takes a back seat

And all I’m left with 

is the bitter taste of your 

Wounds in my mouth;

Threatening to pull you away. 

I hope in your ability to know 

I see them,

Trusting in you to brave. 

– to overcome | withdrawal 

Jari G.

Endearment

I was lost in thought again.

bitter winds nipped at my cheeks

As my feet shuffled from foot to foot.

Hoping fingers would find warmth in my pockets,

I ducked my chin into my scarf,

Draping dangerously loose around my neck

And waited tiredly for the agenda to start.

I shivered as flurries found their way

Down my back

And involuntarily

Release its unwanted hello.

Catching your attention

Hands not my own

Pull at the collars of my coat.

Working the first two buttons open

I freeze in confusion

And watch practiced hands

Re-wrap my scarf

Tucking extra ends to protect my chest.

I looked up to see her eyes

Focused on her task

cheeks reddened by her closeness,

Im stiff waiting for the moment to pass.

I watched soft curls fall about her face

As she scolds me about properly

Wearing my scarf

While she buttons the last button.

Smiling straightening my collar

This blush as become a permanent stain on my cheeks.

I slightly nod my head at her wide smile

Im stuck watching her her attention slowly move away.

Feeling endearment’s warmth

With this careful display of love,

Through playful scolding

her worry of me brought,

I grab her hand in awe

Their soft like her, real like her,

Eyes honest like her

Thank you

And I will always remember her for it