3 Ways Breathing Helps Me

When I find myself beginning to struggle through a triggering moment, I will consciously stop what I am doing and take my first deep breath.

1) the first breath always helps to calm the anxiety/excitement that I am feeling. #breathe #repeat

2) my second breath helps to slow down any racing thoughts. #breathe #repeat

3) my last breath makes it easier for me to listen & remain present. #breathe #repeat

cinco

i told you and you didnt believe me.
didnt i tell you eventually everybody leaves.
didnt i tell you not to look her way. not to speak.
quite frankly you deserve what you’re getting.
stop trynna let those in that dont want in.
just stop.
one side of me | cinco

a thousand more.

im showing you how you make me feel,
so forgive me
if i say something in my excitement
a bit too soon,
i can’t help how over the moon
i feel with you.

im showing you how important you make me,
so forgive me
if i say something in my astonishment
that seems a little shocking
it’s more that it feels scary for me 
to have to share what matters 
with a world that’s forgotten
how to nurture wilting flowers in its garden.

im showing you
why you needn’t worry,
i want to be transparent,
the rarity whose steps
speak as nakedly  
as the day we are born.
i’d like to die to live
a thousand more times
and maybe even a thousand more
just to keep knowing you.

i wonder. je me demande.

beautifully exquisite.
i wish i could know every sensation
coursing through her as she comes.
it’s when her head appears to yearn
to meet the mid of her back
that i find myself wanting to devour her.
i wish that i could wrap her scent
around me like that security blanket
that only it could get me to sleep.
is it wrong to feel this good?
is it so wrong to show it?
dont we all want to know
how the other makes us feel?
i wish i could be the eyes
she hides behind lids
when the sun decides to shine
to blind.
i wanna link visions,
birth epiphanies,
revive the best of time,
i want you to be able to see inside me.
i wish i could swim inside
the shell beating, housing her soul;
i wonder the stories i’d find living there.

 

Swallow-Kumeza

i haven’t told her,
and the truth is i probably won’t.
the truth tends to take on its own translation
once it lands in her ears.
so i settle for watching the inevitable,
completly still when it all begins to implode.
she tends to takes them on;
tells me not,
take the world off your shoulders,
but with her its like
the one thing she always want to do.
they ask me where i get it from;
so i settle on silence –
its none of your business, nah i dont want you to know me.
so i settle for resting my eyes on her.
she doesn’t see the wears and tears
that are beginning to form around
the corners of her eye lids.
but there they are there. they exisit.
softly smiling,
i am reminded again
that there isnt much time left.
that one day this too will end.
so i tell her stop.
lets share that last little drop of sunshine
that’s been fighting to come;
take the world off your shoulders for a minute.
ease some peace back into your heart
before the last of blistering blues
threaten to snuff it all out.
she pauses for a minute.
she’s still learning to find the softness
underneath the bite of my tone.
she huffs at me. i don’t want her on eggshells. again.
i shrug my shoulders
out of the tension,
break out a sigh,
cool the eyes
and im present again.
i unlench my jaw and smile,
because again im reminded that this too will end.
there isn’t much time left.
so i help her place the world on a shelf for a moment,
i watch meak become tall,
crying lungs cry even harder in thanks for the ease of breath,
i can feel her heart pounding again;
less intensly this time,
less like it’s gonna drop any minute now,
because quite frankly thats a tough pill to swallow
and the truth is i don’t ever want to.

Swallow