When I am being asked to make a decision & I feel that it’s important, I have this habit where I will fixate on what’s being asked of me. I’ll get lost in hours of day dreaming trying to mentally play out every possible scenario based on the impact my decision could have. I always worry about trying to make the best one possible. The reality is we can’t. To worry needlessly to the extend where you trigger your own anxiety doesn’t help anyone, let alone you.
Once I’ve caught myself in a loop, I literally have to reset with a deep breath, a snack & meditating to some relaxing music.
- Getting my Bach on. Yes, I love the strings, the keys & drums! Growing up, the times where I remember feeling connected to someone else, with out words, was when I listened to my dad play the congas, timbales, & his favorite acoustic guitar. I can feel the hairs on my body stand on end, and like a wave, I feel the anxiety I was carrying flow down & out the tips of my toes. I can now breathe a little easier & I can finally think more clearly.
- Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Let it go. Remembering to breathe. Like I mentioned previously in my last post I have this habit of holding my breath when I am in a state of trigger. My mother, my mentor & my partner all remind me, off & on again, to breathe. When I’m excited – whew forget it – I have remember to breathe even more before I start moving a 100 miles per min. Focus. To accomplish our goals no matter how stressful or exciting we need to breathe & focus in order to get it done & that needs a clear mind.
- Nothing like a nice snack. I love food. What can I say, but that it’s a part of what give me comfort. A nice sweet apple, some pineapples or a nice sweet smoothie just me brings me back to happy place. It’s like that relief of something cool quenching your thirst during a heatwave. Healthy & a natural energy boost to get me in the right space.
I’ve learned, from experience, what happens when I don’t take my time making a decision, it sucks. After an intentional reflective period I feel capable of making a decision that I can own & feel content with. I’ve learned that even if someone can’t see or understand the reasoning behind the choice, its oki. Why? Its simple, everyone has their own opinion & beliefs.
Once I have recollected myself & my thoughts I can actually begin to look at the problem with new eyes. I leave myself open to lean on peers for objective council if I need it. I remind myself to trust that I have the capacity to make the best choice possible in this moment & that I will not please everyone. The truth is it isn’t my duty to live my life to simply please others – there is no growth, no respect in that. I’m not here to be liked. Above all, I want to be respected as a person that is dependable & of integrity, when it comes to helping others get to the root of the issue their dealing with. Holding people accountable to themselves is not always easy or pretty & still necessary.
[links are provided as a reference to the rhythms & sounds I enjoy]
Jari G. Planning 