There will always come a time in your life where you will be in a position to make some difficult decisions. I am telling you now, procrastinating on making them doesn’t make them disappear. In my last post, I shared some practices that help me, when I find myself right smack in the middle of having to make some of those hard choices. When it comes to the people closest to us the stakes can feel higher compared to those we are not intimately close with.
When the stakes feel like they have been raised, it may be tempting to want to avoid it all together.
Whether we may want to or not, we all have some decisions to make. The important ones, the ones that we allow to impact us, its best to take your time with. Be honest with yourself as much possible, because the reality is that we have no control over what comes next after the fact. The only thing you have control over is your own feelings. Be intentional, regardless of the situation & who it is with. This is not about like or dislike. This is about holding & taking accountability.
From the setting, to the main points you wish to convey, down to managing your own emotions, and feeling confident in what you understand needs to happen.
Setting: Do you prefer difficult conversations to happen during the day, afternoon, or evening? Do you prefer it in a quiet space vs a loud space? Do you want additional support? If you do, who is present? etc.
Convey Main Points & Purpose: Write bullet points if you need to. We are human and so feelings, irrelevant to the moment, may come up. Be prepared to stay focused. Be prepared to site clear examples of what was & may no longer be working.
Managing Emotions: Someone will always test your leadership. They will hold nothing back trying to come for your character. They will deflect. They will bait & gaslight you, especially when you come with the truth. Hold firm to your practices, hold firm to who you have become & stay confident in what you bring to the table. Let others insecurities roll off you in that moment & remain steadfast. Escalation isn’t the objective. Don’t allow it to become the point of focus.
Staying Confident: The reality is that more than likely a persons behavior/actions have given you enough information to make the decisions necessary. There is no point internalizing the poor behaviors or choices of another person.
Hold firm to your practices, hold firm to who you have become & stay confident in what you bring to the table. Let other people’s insecurities roll off you in that moment & remain steadfast.
Jari G. Planning 